Life ramblings

I just realized that I turn 23 in a week and I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be in my life when I hit 23. It’s kinda depressing. I definitely thought my life would be more figured out by now. I thought I’d be done with college and living somewhere else. I definitely wanted to be living in either California or Chicago with a good job. I thought I’d have spent a year in Montreal by now, doing something I love with people who are important to me. I thought I would’ve spent some time overseas, most likely for school, and gone exploring in Paris. I thought I would’ve been closer to opening up a bookshop in Northern California with some friends and just enjoying my life. Maybe I would have a job in the music industry by now or starting my second year of law school or teaching kindergarten somewhere. Maybe I’d be in a relationship, maybe now. I know it seems like a lot to expect, but when I was younger, I had high expectations for myself. I feel like I’ve disappointed my parents by not accomplishing anything by now. I’m not done with school, I still live at home, I have a job I hate, and I have no idea what I want to go back to school for. I just don’t know anything anymore and I feel like I’m letting down my parents and myself and it sucks. If only I could pause time and accomplish all the things I hoped I’d have accomplished by now :/